Aging Mildred was a 93 year old woman who was very
despondent over the recent death of her husband,
Earl. She decided that she would kill herself and
join him in death. Thinking that it would be best
to get it over quickly, she took out Earl’s old army
pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the
heart, since it was so badly broken in the first
place. Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become
a vegetable and burden someone, she called her doctor’s
office to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would
be on a woman. The doctor said, “Your heart would be just
below your left breast.” Later that night, Mildred was
admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee…