hold my bum and fucket while I get my cock out
There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment. One day he went shopping, his first stop was at a hardware store. He went up to the shop assistant and asked,....."Could I have a fucket please?" The assistant asked, "Pardon sir?" "Can I have a fucket please?" replied the man. "Oh, you mean a bucket!" the shop assistant replied. The old man said, "Yes, that's what I said". So the man paid for his bucket and went into the antique shop. In the antique shop he went to the cashier and asked, "Can I have a cock please?" The cashier looked very puzzled and asked, "Pardon?" The man again asked, "Can I have a cock please?" The cashier replied, "Oh, you mean a clock! Yes, certainly sir." So the man paid for the clock and walked out of the shop. The next stop was to the bakers. He went to the assistant and asked, "Can I have a bum please?" The assistant said, "Sorry sir? What did you say?" So he repeated himself, "Can I have a bum please?" The assistant said, " Oh right, you mean a bun!" The old man said, "Yes that's what I said in the first place." So the man bought a bun and walked out of the shop. As he was walking down the street a little old lady came up to him and asked, "Excuse me sir, but do you know the time?" The man replied, "Yes certainly, hold my bum and fucket while I get my cock out."